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The next book I'm writing deals extensively with this sort of thing because I see too much of it, but I'll give you a little preview right here.Basically, you have to start by dumping that Carmen Electra vision of your future girlfriend that I know you hold dear, and start working in the real world of genuine, flawed women -- and you have to start at the bottom.

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***QUESTION***

"Hi David,

Your newsletter is really good. I come from Scotland and although I can detect a slight 'American' influence it really works well. I have a problem David that I just don't know will ever be solved but I'd like to ask you anyway. I realise it is a bit heavy but the main thing is I'm sort of OK with it. I have a disability David that I think puts women off from the 'this is my man, an he'll provide for me, attitude' Talking to women as never been much of a problem (I think I'm OK at communication). ; even hooking up sometimes and more often than not the 'back to my place thing'.

I've also been involved with a women for four years and although the sex is great, deep down we both know we aren't going anywhere. It gets worse because she is a good friend now and a companion. She also helps me clean the house up and has one of my keys. I just don't know what to do David. I don't expect you to reply to this e-mail but if you do, thanks for all the tips. For all the other guys out there - listen to this man - he knows what he's talking about.

Cheers,

A."

***MY COMMENTS***

I hope you see the irony in your email to me... I get emails all the time that say:

"Oh, David... please help me... I'm a good-looking, athletic guy, but I just can't figure out what to do with the ladies..." and such.

And you're emailing me saying that you have all kinds of success with women, and you're just ending a four-year relationship... and you want to know what I think about your situation.

Here's the deal: Sure, some women might have an initial issue with your disability. We all have aspects of our lives that aren't the "ideal" socially approved variety.

But you will only be as limited as you allow yourself to be.

I know and know of guys that have overcome so many incredible challenges and gone on to be successful in all areas of life, that I can only say "You can make whatever you want to make of your own life and success." And this includes success with women. You're already way ahead of most guys...

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